Wednesday, July 23, 2014


I am a breastfeeding mama!! As some of you may know, this is my first time breastfeeding. I just wanted to post this so that others maybe can feel like there is hope for them.  I honestly didn't feel like there was any hope for me in breastfeeding. It was a deep desire in my heart to breastfeed, and I was absolutely devastated when it didn't work out with Samantha. There were a LOT of reasons it didn't work out, and that is okay. It again didn't work out with Jase, but I hadn't allowed myself to be as emotionally invested in it, so it was hard, but it wasn't crushing, when it again didn't work out.  My plan this time around was to wing it. If I felt like giving it a try, I would. If not- then no! :)  Well little Everett came and when the nurses left me alone with him and Jacob I decided that I was NOT going to. I didn't want to deal with the heartache. And Jacob (who, prior to this whole thing said that he would be completely on board and supportive of whatever decision I mad and not be ANYTHING but supportive!!) sad: "Well, it won't hurt to just try once". I wasn't pleased with this, but I kept hearing my mother's words in my head "Just because it didn't work out the first 2 times, doesn't mean it won't work out this time", and just decided to try one time. Wellll I put him on and it went pretty well. I requested a lactation consultant for the next feeding. He was doing great and she gave me some pointers. By this point in life, I'd met with so many lactation consultants on my previous attempts and read so much on it, that there wasn't anything new said to me.. but for some reason this lactation consultant just said things in the right way and helped me so that things really clicked. It went so well! That was my last time to nurse before he got taken away from me to the NICU. I figured it wasn't going to work out, because the hours in the NICU are limited and there is no privacy at all. It was discouraging. I pumped a couple of times, and I got like... half an ounce or so. -I've done the pumping thing before for the other 2 and the one thing I had promised myself this time was that I would NOT put myself through the torture of pumping. Spending 12-14 hours a day between pumping and cleaning bottles and feeding and cleaning pumping equipment was not going to happen this time around. I was thoroughly displeased to be pumping and decided I was done. It was a good feeling, but frustrating too. I started only pumping every 8 hours and was fine with that. Everett got dismissed from the NICU and I decided to put him on just to see. It went pretty well, and I decided to just go with it and see how it went. I pumped at home at night while I was away from him. The first few days of him being in the nursery he had formula and nursed interchangeably, but by the last 2 nights I'd pumped enough that they were feeding him just pumped milk and I was nursing. His NP also came in and gave me some tips. I learned from the lactation consultant and the NP that I have a harder time nursing because of a small physical difference in myself. It wasn't anything I didn't already know, but it was nice to have some validation that not all of my failures are because I didn't try hard enough in the past :).  That week that Everett was in the nursery had ups and downs.  One of my friends told me I just needed confidence. Being postpartum and hormonal I was a little annoyed (she is a nursing pro, and I really admire her, but at that point it was envy! haha!) and stewed over it for a few hours before I came to the realization that she was 100% correct. That was the last factor that I needed- confidence.  When it hurt so bad I was in tears and so frustrated I would think back to all the hard stuff I went through while I was pregnant, which was soooo much worse, and it gave me the strength to push through. I know I can do hard things. And having that knowledge and believing it was the last factor I needed to succeed at breastfeeding. I will say it is much harder to endure pain when it is self inflicted and something you can stop, than much more severe pain that you can't do anything about and just have to deal with. I know there are MANY reasons that breastfeeding doesn't work out, but maybe this will help someone else out there who has struggled with it in the past who wants to give it another shot.  I prayed so hard that I would be able to breastfeed, if it was the right thing for me, and I know that Heavenly Father set everything up for me so that the things would happen that needed to so that I could succeed. I know it isn't right for everyone, and that it doesn't work out for everyone and I know the heartache and depression and frustration and the tears all too well. But there is hope for everyone! Don't be afraid to try again. YOU can do hard things!! And if it doesn't work out for other reasons, that is fine too!! Don't worry about it!

Friday, July 11, 2014


The evening after Everett was born he had to go to the NICU. Earlier in the afternoon his breathing was extremely fast and he had Stridor breathing.. If you don't know what that is here is a video  it's scary! His wasn't as bad as the baby in the video, but much faster. He was at over 100 respirations/min and babies should be 40-50 and should NOT be higher than 60. We didn't really know what was going on with him. So they whisked him away that afternoon and took some blood samples to see if he had an infection. I am group B strep positive so they were Very concerned about that, and worried he had sepsis. Sooo sad. They came back with my sweet little baby (still nameless.. I think at this point we were thinking about Grayson and Oliver) and told me they had to take him to the NICU. He wasn't doing terrible at this point, they just wanted him hooked up to everything and right there in case he got worse. His oxygen was low (they put him on oxygen at first), and they could tell his circulation wasn't that great because he had poor perfusion.  So we called our home teacher and he came and assisted Jacob in giving Everett a blessing.

See the IV in his poor little head on his upper right side? So sad. 
 It was HORRIBLE letting the nurse take him off to the NICU.  I wasn't going to be able to see him until the next day(it was around 8 or 9pm that they took him). I think it was after 10am... I can't remember exactly. It was a long night, stuck in the hospital with no baby. It was very strange! I pumped for him and stressed about him. I had no desire to try breastfeeding him at that point, as I would have had a lot of spectators, so pumping it was.  I was so happy when they finally let me go see him! By the time I got to see him he was no longer on oxygen.  Before we went to see him, my doctor came and talked to me about what had happened (I LOVE my OB and he is in our ward, which is nice). He said that basically what is supposed to happen is while the baby is in the birth canal, all the fluid that is in their lungs get squeezed out with all the contractions and pushing. And what happened is Everett was in the birth canal for such a short amount of time (through one contraction/ 2 1/2 pushes..) that all the fluid didn't get pushed out of his lungs.  This is not uncommon, but usually the body absorbs the leftover fluid in the longs within a couple of hours.  Everett's was in there longer, and somehow he got an infection in the fluid that was left in there. So that was that.

 Everett was in the NICU less than 48 hours so it really wasn't all that bad. They started him on an antibiotic that first evening (Thursday) and he stabilized the next day. He needed to be stable for 24 hours before moving to the nursery. Next I got checked out of the hospital. Luckily my OB is the director of the L&D, so even though they had to check me out in the morning, I got to stick around and use my room and I still even got meals! It was super nice! It was heart breaking to leave him that first night. I had a hard time sleeping and hurried to the hospital first thing in the morning. Ariel (Jacob's little sis) flew out to help and it was such a blessing having her there. I was able to spend the day at the hospital with Everett, and she would bring the kids over for a little while then take them home and watch them. It was nice not having to worry about them or where they were going or who was watching them, or worse having them there with me. I was able to take care of my little boy :)
 At the hospital they get a lot of clothing donations in the NICU, and our nurse sent Everett to the nursery in this cute (but funny) little elf outfit someone crocheted then donated :) It was one of the few things there that was big enough!

After he was stable for 24 hours they released him and he got to go to the nursery!! yay! The nursery doesn't have weird visiting hours, or scary machines, ha :) He had to stay in the nursery until the following Thursday morning so that they could administer his antibiotic through his IV twice a day. That week is a bit of a blur in my mind. I spent a lot of time at the hospital with him and my days consisted of traveling back and forth from the hospital so I could nurse (!! I know! Another post) and see him. It was exhausting. I distinctly remembering repeatedly telling myself it was for the better because he was learning to sleep through noise and lights and I was able to sleep at night straight through. Haha, I think that thinking helped me feel better about it, but looking back I think I might have been better rested had he just been home with me, as I was getting home very late, leaving early, sleeping fitfully, and traveling back and forth so much :)  It was very difficult for me to be away from him. Any mama out there knows that when you have a baby they feel like an extension of you for that first 6 months or so. My heart goes out to any of you out there that have had to deal with babies at the hospital for longer and babies in much more critical condition. I do realize I had it easy!!
Thursday came and I was soooo excited to pick up my little sweety pie and take him home!! I got to the hospital early and we waited and waited for the NP to see him and give him the go ahead so he could come home! And of course he peed all over his take home outfit and ended up going home in donated WV Mountaineers pajamas... Which was fitting :)  haha. He is my whole world (so are my other kids and hubby :)) and I adore him to no end.  I am so grateful to have him as part of our family!!

Saturday, April 5, 2014

A Birth Story

Today Everett is 4 months old! I realized I have not yet written down his birth story (oops!) so here goes! I had a difficult pregnancy with him. There was a lot of sickness and a LOT of pain, and, unfortunately, a lot of anger (anyone else experience pregnancy anger? How did you deal? What helped? I need to figure this out if I'm going to get pregnant again). I was very anxious about having Everett.  I was terrified. I wasn't very nervous about having Sammi or Jase.. I knew I'd love them and I knew I could do it. I have a Lot of love to give, I wasn't concerned about loving Everett as much as my other kids (I know some are concerned about things like that) or anything along those lines. I was just worried about being able to handle 3 kids, and TERRIFIED of colic. Jacob puts in 70-80+ hours/wk into school. It doesn't leave a lot of time for helping. Samantha had colic and Jacob was only gone about 45-50 hrs/ wk and it was sooo nice to catch a break from the screaming when he came home! Turns out Heavenly Father knows what we can handle and I was correct in assuming I couldn't handle colic by myself, haha! Everett is the perfect baby. He smiles and giggles and he only cries is he is wet or tired or if something spooks him.  I don't think he has full out screamed more than twice, and it was less than a minute both times. He is a joy and my little ray of sunshine. It is an almost daily occurrence for me to be extremely frustrated with one of the older kids and feel at my wit's end, when I turn and see Everett just smiling at me happily and my heart is immediately softened. Don't get me wrong, he is a baby so still a lot work, but he has brought a special light to our home.

Well, back to the birth story. At my 34 week ultrasound we saw that baby boy was already about 6 pounds.. ha! That made me nervous! He was estimated to be about 9 pounds if I reached 40 weeks. Sheesh!  I planned everything out with Jacob's little sister Ariel, who was coming to help out. My due date was Dec. 12, the day Jacob would be finishing his finals. I was very concerned about baby boy coming early (I had Sammi at 37 weeks and Jase at 38 weeks) and having no help for Jacob's finals week (a typical finals week for Jacob is him getting up at 4am, going straight to school and coming home 9:30-10ish and going straight to bed), or for him coming DURING finals week. So I decided to plan an induction for 39 weeks (Dec. 5) so that I could be guaranteed to have help during his finals week and also not interrupt his finals with baby boy coming.  My doctor was on board (esp since baby was so big! He doesn't like complications, he likes things to go smoothly) so we scheduled my induction for Dec. 5.  Just like when I was pregnant with Jase, I was dilated to a 5.5 and not very effaced or in labor. Things go really quickly once labor hits, if you're already at a 5.5 :) So Dec. 4 we went in at about 10 to get the cervadil stuff (ripens the cervix), turns out I'd progressed and effaced so I didn't need it.

 They hooked me up to an IV (group B strep positive.. gotta have those antibiotics for at LEAST 4 hours, preferably 8).. and that was horrible!! Ugh!! Sooo I'm pretty sure the girl that was doing the IV was new or just awful at it and practicing on me. I have decent veins on my wrist and I was super hydrated (over 90 oz of water that day!). She was soooooo slow at it and was digging around for forever. If you are a nurse, just get in there and jab it in! Seriously! My stomach still churns thinking about her digging around in there for a vein! I get really anxious when it comes to needles, and she just kept digging around. Then she thinks she has it set up and going and gets it all taped up, then it didn't have a good flow and she announces it had to come out.  Everything started turning black  and spinning (I almost lost my cookies.. except I don't have a gag reflex so I don't throw up, haha! but there was intense nausea) and I said something about not being able to see very well and feeling ill and they reclined my bed and started putting a cool washcloth on my head.. then they had to hook me up to oxygen- haaa! So embarrassing! :)  The same nurse tried AGAIN and failed. She left the room and I told one of the other nurses that somebody else was going for it because that girl was NOT coming near my arm again.. haha.  Third time was NOT the charm, unfortunately. That nurse was a digger too. So they went and got their "IV pro" and she came in, lined up her needle and BAM, fast as can be, she got it in!  Piece of cake. I have GOOD veins, I am telling you! Nurses: digging is bad when your patient gets anxious around needles!  Thank you for all the bruises and puffy veins and soreness. :)

Back to the story.. Well I didn't sleep much, because I was so excited and anxious about everything. In the morning around 7:30 or so they started me on some pitocin. I'm not crazy enough to go drugless on pitocin, so when they started hurting I got the epidural (again, needles make me anxious, so I have to wait until I'm in pain til I can suffer the terrifying epidural) but I reeeeeallly wanted just the lowest amount possible of medicine through my epidural. Just enough to take the edge off. I wanted to be able to feel how hard I was pushing and be able to feel so I can try to prevent a tear.. So I'm all hooked up and ready to go, feeling my contractions and in a little pain, but not a lot. About an hour later they check me and I'm at an 8 and decide to call my doctor, who is 20 minutes away. Less than 10 minutes later everything got more intense and I wanted to push soooooooo badly! So Jacob got a nurse and she checked me and I was complete. I couldn't control my urge to push, so the nurse reached over and pushed my epidural button THREE times!! Immediately everything went numb :( I no longer had the urge to push! So sad! My doctor came about 10 minutes later. I was SOO numb. They could have cut off my body below my rib cage and I would have been none the wiser!

 At this point there were at LEAST 10 people in my room.. Some nursing students had asked to see my birth and they were in there with their supervising nurses, then there were my nurses, and Everett's nurses and Jacob, and my doc.. it was a PACKED room! So doc tells me to push and I push and everyone starts cheering for me and saying how great I was doing! It was funny. And I was just soaking it up, enjoying being the star of the show! haha! My next push wasn't nearly as good cause I was focused on the other people in my room, not on pushing... However, his head had come out and I had NO idea!! So my doctor told me to give one really good push (I was thinking 'The head must be right there, I need one big push to get the head out!') so I pushed with all my might... and Jacob said Everett came flying out like a bar of wet soap. My doctor literally had to catch him.. haha!! I was so bewildered when they said I was done! What???!!  He was born at 9:46 am 8lb 7oz of pure love and joy :)
Next up: His time in the NICU

Friday, October 18, 2013

Lessons in Judging

2 months ago during Jacob's semester break I learned a couple of lessons in judging others. The first happened when I went with the girls to get  a pedicure. We went  to a beauty school (ya really can't beat the price!).  The girls that were doing our pedicures came to greet us and one of the girls had a buzzed head with a slight faux hawk.  She wasn't dressed "immodestly", necessarily, (maybe slightly, but not at all trashy or sleazy looking) but you could totally tell she had fakies.  I inwardly rolled my eyes, thinking she must be "expressing herself" when in reality just trying to find herself.  Come to find out I was totally wrong.  The young woman had just finished battling breast cancer, and had only been back at school for 3 weeks.  Hence the buzzed head and implants.  I felt really bad.  I kept thinking over and over how your really don't know anyone's story, and it's so unfair to judge them.

The following day I had my second lesson in judging.  So here in WV our temple is a little over 3 hours away. By the time we go down, take turns doing sessions, eat something and come home it's easily a 12 hour day. And with Jacob putting in around 80 hours/ week into school (8ish hours on Saturdays), we don't exactly get to go every single month.  Anyway, during Jacob's semester break we made it twice! Only the second time I was THAT person at the temple... the one with the cough.  I remember when we lived in Provo I would feel frustrated when people would come to the temple that were obviously sick.  I didn't go to the temple to get sick! It was easy to take temple attendance for granted there.  Being able to go whenever I wanted, I selfishly thought it was selfish of them to go when they were sick.  Anyway, I wasn't super sick or anything, I just had a cough and it wasn't a nasty mucous-y cough, just a dry annoying cough.  If it had been "productive"or if I had been all snorty or runny and gross, I would NOT have gone, but I just had a cough and it had come from a teeny tiny summer cold! It taught me a lesson in judging others. We really don't know people's circumstances.  My heart ACHED to go to the temple. I really missed going, and I couldn't bear to pass up another opportunity to go, especially knowing it would be awhile until we could make it again. Lesson learned: Don't be annoyed by sick people at the temple. You have no idea what they have been through to get there, or what their circumstances are.  That being said, if you're sick and it's EASY for you to get to the temple and you are able to go often, just think about it before going. If you need it- go, if you can wait a week- then wait :)

Wednesday, October 16, 2013


Well, I'm pregnant again (as you all know). It's my 3rd pregnancy, and I promised myself this pregnancy would be different.  And I'm happy to say it is. My other 2 pregnancies I found myself frustrated with my body. I felt "fat" and "ugly" and "slow" all the time. When I'm pregnant, I gain a lot of weight on my hips and my thighs, and get love handles. After reading this amazing post by a friend from high school almost 2 years ago, I decided to change my attitude. I often reflect on the post (it truly is an inspiring post- please read it).

It would be silly of me to assume that this time around my body wouldn't gain weight on my lower half. So why be annoyed about it? Why believe I'm ugly? With hard work and a good diet I can get back to my healthy weight. I've done it twice before, so of course I'll do it again. I've really tried to embrace and love my extra curves while pregnant. I have born 2 healthy children, so obviously my body knows what it's doing! God gave us beautiful bodies that can do AMAZING things. It still blows my mind that I have created LIFE with my body.  I know it saddens Him when I don't see myself as the beautiful woman that I am.

I do not need to live up to an "ideal". I need to be healthy and take care of myself and Love myself. Our bodies are created in the image of God. We need to love these beautiful bodies that are GIFTS to us.  One of the reasons we came to earth was to receive a body, right? So why tear it down and despise it? It saddens me that I did this through my other 2 pregnancies. Our bodies are one of the most amazing gifts from our Heavenly Father. YES we need to take care of our bodies, but we also need to be grateful for and love our bodies.

It is hard to be pregnant! For some harder than others. I know many have it far worse than me, but I have my own limitations that prevent me from staying as active as I would like to be. For someone who usually exercises regularly- Yes, it can be frustrating. But, it is all worth it! I'm so excited to give birth again! I'm so excited for that flooding of overwhelming love. That indescribable moment when you finally get to meet your baby.

In October 2005 Susan W Tanner gave a talk about the sanctity of the body- I want to share a quote from it "(talking about Satan).... He seduces some to despise their bodies; others he tempts to worship their bodies. In either case, he entices the world to regard the body merely as an object. In the face of so many satanic falsehoods about the body, I want to raise my voice today in support of the sanctity of the body. I testify that the body is a gift to be treated with gratitude and respect." I am grateful for my body and want to treat it with the respect it deserves. I am still a work in progress, but I am getting better.  I have a beautiful body. And so do you.

Saturday, April 20, 2013


This morning I had what I like to call a "successful" shower. Aka one where whiney and/or demanding children don't barge in.  At the end of my shower I stood there with the water running, dreading turning it off and returning to "real life".  I was enjoying feeling like a person. With a sigh, I turned off the water and was greeted by the sound of my sweet little babies giggling, squealing and playing.  It was a good reminder that "real life" is a beautiful thing, and I am greatly blessed.

Wednesday, March 27, 2013

Sweet little Saylor- an update

So various people have been asking about my cute little niece Saylor, who got a liver transplant. I guess I owe it to the blogging world to make an update, since I wrote my other post, ha :)   Saylor got her liver transplant!! She took a turn for the worse and was given a higher need score. She was the sickest baby in the region (CA,AZ, UT, ID, NM, WA, OR and possibly other states in the west) in need of a liver transplant and she got one soon after her higher ranking! I can't remember, but I think it may have been the next day. Maybe one more day after that, not sure.  The sweet little baby she got her liver from died of RSV. Please pray for the donor family. It still baffles me that because someone else DIED my niece gets to live. I felt so strange praying for her to get a liver, because it meant that someone else would have to die. Then I reminded myself that whoever she ended up getting her liver from wasn't dying so Saylor could have her liver, but was dying no matter what. What a miracle that we can bring life from death! And what a miracle for modern medicine! I definitely love using essential oils and other natural remedies and I love how they can help with things, but if it wasn't for modern medicine, Saylor would not be with us! Even if she had been born 20 years ago they would not have been able to properly treat her. I'm so grateful for everyone's love and support and prayers. Saylor is doing great with her new liver. It started working before they had even sewn her back up! Isn't that crazy?! She now looks like she is caucasian, she has white skin and white eyes and is sooo soo cute! I love her! They wait about 6 months before officially declaring whether her body has accepted or rejected the liver, so only time will tell with that, but so far she is doing great! She is recovering faster than the doctors could have hoped, and doing very well! We are so happy for her and her parents!

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Monday, March 25, 2013


I have recently been thinking about choices we make and where they lead us.  I have been realizing more and more how valuable my health is in all aspects. Physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual. And they really do affect each other! There is so much we can do now to ensure the quality of life we lead later! When I take care of myself physically (this is NOT a post insulting anyone struggling with weight, whether it be "too little" or "too much"- everyone has their own healthy weight, what really matters is what you are doing TODAY) by exercising and eating things that will help my body feel good, it is easier to get through a day at home with grumpy children and a husband gone 14-15 hours a day studying.  When I keep myself spiritually uplifted I feel more motivated to take care of my physical body. When I keep myself in good emotional health by forgiving others and not worrying about things I can't change (forgiveness has always come easily to me, however the not worrying does NOT!:)) I can focus on positive things, which helps me make positive choices in other areas. Mentally challenging myself is important too, and for me it involves having a creative outlet and doing hard things. For me it is more mentally challenging to say no to the cookies than it is physically, and in a workout it is truly conquering the mind first, then the body when you are convinced you can go no further or not do another rep and you do. The other thing I do for my mental health is try to read some non-fiction and do sudoku.
  The one that has the ability to drag me down the most though is not taking care of myself emotionally. We all know someone holding on to bitterness and resentment that can't let things go. If I don't keep myself in a good place emotionally it is SO hard to drag myself out of bed for that workout. It is impossible to say no to a second cookie or a second scoop of ice cream (I am not against sweets in moderation! :)) And if I do have the gusto to pick up my scriptures, I'm not engaged and getting out of it what I should. So how do I take care of myself emotionally? (FYI this post is about me, these things may be completely different for you!:)) First and foremost-- I let things go! I don't let other people get to me and bring me down.  I think this might be why I like everyone--for reals, if you think I don't like you, then you're wrong! I like everyone, even if they don't like me-- The second thing for me is to have something to look forward to. Whether it is a trip somewhere, (even if it is small) or someone coming to visit, or maybe a date night. Something that I can plan for, and be EXCITED about, and look forward to. I love being excited for things! That is where I truly thrive.  The third thing is making sure I get enough adult contact. Sometimes the days get long and really draw out. Without human contact (ok, fine, my kids are human.. but I can't really engage them in a REAL conversation about things that interest me and what I'm up to and what I love and what I dislike) I really get into an emotional funk and next thing I know I'm a mess in all aspects of my health.
When I'm old, I want to be like grandma was: lively, vibrant, active, full of life. She still knew how to have a good time and was so HAPPY. And it was because she took care of herself. I would hate to be anything but that! So here's to being happy, active, and vibrant when I'm old!!
At the end of the day it's a good life and no matter how low you are in any area, you can always heal and do things every single day to help lift yourself up.

Monday, March 11, 2013

This weekend

Despite the kids being sick, this weekend was AMAZING! It wasn't anything spectacular, but maybe it was just because Jase was sick all. week. long. And so I was stuck home. all. week. long. ugh! We are used to getting out of the house about 6 days a week! And Jase is probably the whiniest sick person I have ever heard of! On Friday, we met Jacob at his school when classes were over, and went on a walk. His school sits right on a river, so it's a nice place to walk.  It was in the 50's and sunny and it was sooo nice!!  The weather here during the winter is AWFUL. Prior to this weekend we only saw the sun a total of a few hours the last 2 weeks. It's not very good for the soul, that's for sure. This week is spring break! YAY!! He decided to take the weekend off of studying, so Friday night we just went to Target to get diapers and Sammi some new shoes- her old shoes have been too small for over a month, so it was definitely time! We got home and put the kids to bed and enjoyed a relaxing evening without ANY homework! Woo! We just stayed up and watched Netflix and talked. On Saturday I got a coupon for $10 off $25 at JCP so we headed to the mall. I'm not hog wild over JCP, however they have really cute skirts! So I got a new skirt for $15 and it is the most gorgeous color, I am in love!  Jacob let the kids run wild in the play area there while I shopped and it was sooooo amazing to shop without whiney kids! We headed to Lowe's because we don't own a shovel and need one for gardening. We headed home, ate lunch, put the kids down for a nap and headed out into the upper 60s and bright sunshine to work in the garden. Oh my goodness, it was so amazing!! Our garden is covered in mint (oh my gosh, if you grow mint, grow it somewhere you can contain it, like a pot! Holy cow!) so we had to pull it out. We aren't done yet, but that's okay! The kids woke up about 2 hours later and we decided to go on a walk. The walk we like to do is about 1 1/3 miles, nothing major, but it's all uphill or downhill and the perfect distance to take the kids on. Well we left around 2:45, went .4 miles and were home at 4:30... Why? Because we have super nice neighbors! Everyone was outside working in their yards, and they all wanted us to stop and meet them, it was great! People here are so nice (and talkative!)! They really have a way of making you feel welcome, we really love our neighborhood. We enjoyed the rest of our evening and it was just so so nice!  Sunday was good. Jacob and I both spoke in church. Since the kids were sick we took turns with them in the foyer. Also, I got a little card that said I only had 2 minutes left!!! For real!! ME! Most of my talks are like 7 minutes, no matter how long I try to make them since I get up there and am so nervous I talk super super fast. However, in my own defense I'd only been talking 10 or 12 minutes when I got the card. And I was informed later that the bishopric had been requested to make an extra effort to leave the last speaker plenty of time. It was embarrassing though. AND I didn't get to give the best part of my talk! Oh well! After church I was minorly upset for a little while, because I found out that someone who has a responsibility to stick up for me and defend me has been trashing me behind my back. I am now over it, as this person has a lot going on (IMO not an excuse to belittle others, but oh well), so I really can't hold it against them, right? That would be wrong. It was just disappointing to find out. Anyway, after that We skyped with Ty and Lindsey!! It cheered me up and made me so happy, they are such awesome people! We got to see little baby Saylor and she is doing so great! I love her!!! It was a fun weekend and it was so nice to have Jacob around! Usually he studies Friday evenings, and for at least 8 hours on Saturdays, so it was a ton of fun! post signature

Thursday, February 21, 2013


Unfortunately this post won't have any pictures. I just have a lot on my mind and need an outlet. So as most of you probably know, my beautiful little 5 month old niece is waiting for a liver so that she can get a liver transplant. For her blood type (completely normal--A) she has the highest need in the Western US. She is a very sick little girl and needs a liver badly. This whole thing has been so many ups and downs. Mostly downs, but you know. I have felt so much guilt that I haven't yet met and held that sweet little girl.  Yesterday afternoon she got a liver offer, and we were all so elated. Late last night, the liver offer was declined. I have no idea why. My heart goes out to the family of the potential donor. I can only imagine how awful it would be to lose a child. I'm praying with all my heart that my brother and his wife don't have to find out.  It would be a hard decision for a family to donate the organs of a lost loved one, I can get that.
 I proudly proclaimed "YES" when I turned 15 (not a typo, thanks Idaho!) and got my driver's license and they asked if I wanted to be an organ donor. I didn't know much about it, but the idea of saving others' lives if I died young was very novel to me.  Now that I know more about the process, I am definitely still an organ donor, but Jacob has told me it would be very hard on him to donate my organs.
Since the very beginning of this whole thing my heart has ached for the family of whoever ends up being little Saylor's donor. My heart aches knowing that Saylor will get to live because another baby died and their family was selfless enough to donate their organs. It's very humbling.  I never thought that I would be related to someone who has had an organ transplant, it always seemed so distant to me, like something in books and movies, not something that could happen to me or my family. Please pray for my sweet niece and my brother and his wife.
Are you an organ donor? More than 6,000 people in the US die every year waiting for an organ transplant. That's 19 people each day.