Beautiful

This morning I had what I like to call a "successful" shower. Aka one where whiney and/or demanding children don't barge in.  At the end of my shower I stood there with the water running, dreading turning it off and returning to "real life".  I was enjoying feeling like a person. With a sigh, I turned off the water and was greeted by the sound of my sweet little babies giggling, squealing and playing.  It was a good reminder that "real life" is a beautiful thing, and I am greatly blessed.

Sweet little Saylor- an update

So various people have been asking about my cute little niece Saylor, who got a liver transplant. I guess I owe it to the blogging world to make an update, since I wrote my other post, ha :)   Saylor got her liver transplant!! She took a turn for the worse and was given a higher need score. She was the sickest baby in the region (CA,AZ, UT, ID, NM, WA, OR and possibly other states in the west) in need of a liver transplant and she got one soon after her higher ranking! I can't remember, but I think it may have been the next day. Maybe one more day after that, not sure.  The sweet little baby she got her liver from died of RSV. Please pray for the donor family. It still baffles me that because someone else DIED my niece gets to live. I felt so strange praying for her to get a liver, because it meant that someone else would have to die. Then I reminded myself that whoever she ended up getting her liver from wasn't dying so Saylor could have her liver, but was dying no matter what. What a miracle that we can bring life from death! And what a miracle for modern medicine! I definitely love using essential oils and other natural remedies and I love how they can help with things, but if it wasn't for modern medicine, Saylor would not be with us! Even if she had been born 20 years ago they would not have been able to properly treat her. I'm so grateful for everyone's love and support and prayers. Saylor is doing great with her new liver. It started working before they had even sewn her back up! Isn't that crazy?! She now looks like she is caucasian, she has white skin and white eyes and is sooo soo cute! I love her! They wait about 6 months before officially declaring whether her body has accepted or rejected the liver, so only time will tell with that, but so far she is doing great! She is recovering faster than the doctors could have hoped, and doing very well! We are so happy for her and her parents!

Choices

I have recently been thinking about choices we make and where they lead us.  I have been realizing more and more how valuable my health is in all aspects. Physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual. And they really do affect each other! There is so much we can do now to ensure the quality of life we lead later! When I take care of myself physically (this is NOT a post insulting anyone struggling with weight, whether it be "too little" or "too much"- everyone has their own healthy weight, what really matters is what you are doing TODAY) by exercising and eating things that will help my body feel good, it is easier to get through a day at home with grumpy children and a husband gone 14-15 hours a day studying.  When I keep myself spiritually uplifted I feel more motivated to take care of my physical body. When I keep myself in good emotional health by forgiving others and not worrying about things I can't change (forgiveness has always come easily to me, however the not worrying does NOT!:)) I can focus on positive things, which helps me make positive choices in other areas. Mentally challenging myself is important too, and for me it involves having a creative outlet and doing hard things. For me it is more mentally challenging to say no to the cookies than it is physically, and in a workout it is truly conquering the mind first, then the body when you are convinced you can go no further or not do another rep and you do. The other thing I do for my mental health is try to read some non-fiction and do sudoku.

  The one that has the ability to drag me down the most though is not taking care of myself emotionally. We all know someone holding on to bitterness and resentment that can't let things go. If I don't keep myself in a good place emotionally it is SO hard to drag myself out of bed for that workout. It is impossible to say no to a second cookie or a second scoop of ice cream (I am not against sweets in moderation! :)) And if I do have the gusto to pick up my scriptures, I'm not engaged and getting out of it what I should. So how do I take care of myself emotionally? (FYI this post is about me, these things may be completely different for you!:)) First and foremost-- I let things go! I don't let other people get to me and bring me down.  I think this might be why I like everyone--for reals, if you think I don't like you, then you're wrong! I like everyone, even if they don't like me-- The second thing for me is to have something to look forward to. Whether it is a trip somewhere, (even if it is small) or someone coming to visit, or maybe a date night. Something that I can plan for, and be EXCITED about, and look forward to. I love being excited for things! That is where I truly thrive.  The third thing is making sure I get enough adult contact. Sometimes the days get long and really draw out. Without human contact (ok, fine, my kids are human.. but I can't really engage them in a REAL conversation about things that interest me and what I'm up to and what I love and what I dislike) I really get into an emotional funk and next thing I know I'm a mess in all aspects of my health.
When I'm old, I want to be like grandma was: lively, vibrant, active, full of life. She still knew how to have a good time and was so HAPPY. And it was because she took care of herself. I would hate to be anything but that! So here's to being happy, active, and vibrant when I'm old!!

At the end of the day it's a good life and no matter how low you are in any area, you can always heal and do things every single day to help lift yourself up.

This weekend

Despite the kids being sick, this weekend was AMAZING! It wasn't anything spectacular, but maybe it was just because Jase was sick all. week. long. And so I was stuck home. all. week. long. ugh! We are used to getting out of the house about 6 days a week! And Jase is probably the whiniest sick person I have ever heard of! On Friday, we met Jacob at his school when classes were over, and went on a walk. His school sits right on a river, so it's a nice place to walk.  It was in the 50's and sunny and it was sooo nice!!  The weather here during the winter is AWFUL. Prior to this weekend we only saw the sun a total of a few hours the last 2 weeks. It's not very good for the soul, that's for sure. This week is spring break! YAY!! He decided to take the weekend off of studying, so Friday night we just went to Target to get diapers and Sammi some new shoes- her old shoes have been too small for over a month, so it was definitely time! We got home and put the kids to bed and enjoyed a relaxing evening without ANY homework! Woo! We just stayed up and watched Netflix and talked. On Saturday I got a coupon for $10 off $25 at JCP so we headed to the mall. I'm not hog wild over JCP, however they have really cute skirts! So I got a new skirt for $15 and it is the most gorgeous color, I am in love!  Jacob let the kids run wild in the play area there while I shopped and it was sooooo amazing to shop without whiney kids! We headed to Lowe's because we don't own a shovel and need one for gardening. We headed home, ate lunch, put the kids down for a nap and headed out into the upper 60s and bright sunshine to work in the garden. Oh my goodness, it was so amazing!! Our garden is covered in mint (oh my gosh, if you grow mint, grow it somewhere you can contain it, like a pot! Holy cow!) so we had to pull it out. We aren't done yet, but that's okay! The kids woke up about 2 hours later and we decided to go on a walk. The walk we like to do is about 1 1/3 miles, nothing major, but it's all uphill or downhill and the perfect distance to take the kids on. Well we left around 2:45, went .4 miles and were home at 4:30... Why? Because we have super nice neighbors! Everyone was outside working in their yards, and they all wanted us to stop and meet them, it was great! People here are so nice (and talkative!)! They really have a way of making you feel welcome, we really love our neighborhood. We enjoyed the rest of our evening and it was just so so nice!  Sunday was good. Jacob and I both spoke in church. Since the kids were sick we took turns with them in the foyer. Also, I got a little card that said I only had 2 minutes left!!! For real!! ME! Most of my talks are like 7 minutes, no matter how long I try to make them since I get up there and am so nervous I talk super super fast. However, in my own defense I'd only been talking 10 or 12 minutes when I got the card. And I was informed later that the bishopric had been requested to make an extra effort to leave the last speaker plenty of time. It was embarrassing though. AND I didn't get to give the best part of my talk! Oh well! After church I was minorly upset for a little while, because I found out that someone who has a responsibility to stick up for me and defend me has been trashing me behind my back. I am now over it, as this person has a lot going on (IMO not an excuse to belittle others, but oh well), so I really can't hold it against them, right? That would be wrong. It was just disappointing to find out. Anyway, after that We skyped with Ty and Lindsey!! It cheered me up and made me so happy, they are such awesome people! We got to see little baby Saylor and she is doing so great! I love her!!! It was a fun weekend and it was so nice to have Jacob around! Usually he studies Friday evenings, and for at least 8 hours on Saturdays, so it was a ton of fun!

Organs

Unfortunately this post won't have any pictures. I just have a lot on my mind and need an outlet. So as most of you probably know, my beautiful little 5 month old niece is waiting for a liver so that she can get a liver transplant. For her blood type (completely normal--A) she has the highest need in the Western US. She is a very sick little girl and needs a liver badly. This whole thing has been so many ups and downs. Mostly downs, but you know. I have felt so much guilt that I haven't yet met and held that sweet little girl.  Yesterday afternoon she got a liver offer, and we were all so elated. Late last night, the liver offer was declined. I have no idea why. My heart goes out to the family of the potential donor. I can only imagine how awful it would be to lose a child. I'm praying with all my heart that my brother and his wife don't have to find out.  It would be a hard decision for a family to donate the organs of a lost loved one, I can get that.
 I proudly proclaimed "YES" when I turned 15 (not a typo, thanks Idaho!) and got my driver's license and they asked if I wanted to be an organ donor. I didn't know much about it, but the idea of saving others' lives if I died young was very novel to me.  Now that I know more about the process, I am definitely still an organ donor, but Jacob has told me it would be very hard on him to donate my organs.
Since the very beginning of this whole thing my heart has ached for the family of whoever ends up being little Saylor's donor. My heart aches knowing that Saylor will get to live because another baby died and their family was selfless enough to donate their organs. It's very humbling.  I never thought that I would be related to someone who has had an organ transplant, it always seemed so distant to me, like something in books and movies, not something that could happen to me or my family. Please pray for my sweet niece and my brother and his wife.
Are you an organ donor? More than 6,000 people in the US die every year waiting for an organ transplant. That's 19 people each day.

Life Lately

Life has been going well here in WV.  I feel like so much has happened that I don't even know where to start! I think for now I'm just going to say where we're all at
Samantha-- loves it here. The transition here was surprisingly easy. She sort-of misses people back in California, but she is really good about enjoying life in the moment and not dwelling on other things. She has lots of friends here. Her and this other little blond girl in our ward became instant friends, and they are so cute together. You know how sometimes there are people you just click with automatically and friendship is SO easy with them, and you are immediately close? I feel like she has experienced that. She loves our house, she loves the trees and the deer. She is doing really well.
Jase- Jase is still my little buddy. He has grown more attached to me, but is actually doing okay in nursery, thank goodness! He is still my mostly chill little boy. As long as he is well rested and well fed and I hold him when he wants he really doesn't have any complaints about life. He loves cars, and since moving here has a new obsession with trains. There is a lot of coal mining here, so there are constantly trains hauling coal. We see multiple trains every time we go anywhere, and he loves it! Also, a lot of his behavioral issues have been getting better as he hasn't been spoiled constantly, ha ha :)
Jacob- is suuuper busy with school. He gets up at 4 every morning to study (don't worry, he goes to bed early) and studies alllll day. He puts in 12-15 hrs a day for school, so it's pretty crazy. I'm so proud of him for working so hard for our family.
Me- I've been keeping plenty busy.  Pretty much everything falls on me now (don't get me wrong, Jacob helps out when he can :)) so I've been getting used to that.  I was thinking about it, and you know, the PA students that don't have a wife or family have things they have to do. Grocery shopping, laundry, cleaning the toilet, cooking, ironing (the program's dress code is business casual) etc. And while I now have to take care of pretty much all of that stuff, it's like a trade off. Because Jacob doesn't have to put time into these other things, he does have a little bit of  time to spend with his family. And I love it. It's totally worth it.  It's not all bad either. The kids and I do stuff pretty much every day. Whether it's story time, play dates, having friends over, play group, going to the park, grocery shopping or whatever else, we do stuff a lot and keep busy. I've loved getting to know all of the young moms in the ward. Everyone is so so nice and incredibly friendly. There are a ton of us, and it is really nice to have that support.  I like it here a lot, though I miss the sun. I'd say so far, probably 70% of our days here have been gloomy/rainy/snowy/etc.
Hopefully a fun post to come soon with some pictures!

Simplifying

We have now been without our "stuff" for over a month.  On Dec 21 our stuff was loaded into a truck to be driven to West Virginia. We kept out the bare minimum. A couple of books, a few changes of clothes, the pack n play- really just the basics.  We were informed by the moving company it would be 5-17 days from the date of pickup that our stuff would arrive. We quickly replanned our trip across the country to get there a couple of days sooner since they said there would be "no problem getting it there by December 31." We asked them about the 5-17 days and asked them if that meant our stuff would be there by about the 9th and they said "yeah, somewhere around there." Long story short, after many phone calls and the latest day they can deliver being re-estimated multiple times, and finally ending at January 17, because there weren't any more days they could X out, our stuff is now officially 5 days late (which really isn't that bad, I'm just frustrated they led us to believe we would get our stuff sooner, in my mind they are WEEKS late).  However, they said they would call at least 24 hours in advance, and still no phone call. Hopefully we get it before Sunday, because I am really sick of wearing the same thing to church! :)
All the annoyance aside, it's funny how simple life has become. Cleaning is a breeze, because we don't have much to make a mess with. And really, we aren't without much. Poor Jacob only has 2 outfits to wear to school (I'm telling you, they really let us believe the latest they would come was the 9th!!) because their dress code is business casual for the PA program. The things I miss the most are my cute clothes-- especially my boots and sweaters and cute jeans (I mostly just packed t-shirts and my least favorite jeans because we weren't supposed to have been here very long without our things, and I didn't see a need to pack cute clothes to ride in the car in), cookware, spices, a computer (all we have is Jacob's laptop right now, and he takes it to school 12 hours a day!) my bed, and a table! (any idea how hard it is to get children to focus on dinner when you aren't situated at a table?!)  We really do have the necessities though. We sold most of our things before moving to Ridgecrest, so we came here and had to buy couches (looking for couches on a student budget?? Big Lots! They are SO SO inexpensive), so we at least have somewhere to sit! And luckily some friends let us borrow their spare bed, so we aren't sleeping on the couches anymore :)  Also, the place we live is all hard wood floors (cold an uninviting, in my opinion) so we got some rugs, so it really isn't so bad.
I have just been thinking lately about how much "stuff" we have. We have way too many toys, I could definitely get rid of some of my kitchen things, I could definitely get rid of more clothing and shoes. Why do we have so much stuff? Think back 200 years ago. They didn't have near as much "stuff". They found things to do and ways to be happy. It's kind of crazy, really. On one hand I could rationalize keeping every single thing in those boxes headed our way (I know, because I did it in December when we went through everything-- we got rid of a LOT of stuff then), I found a need for every single thing there (and we aren't packrats or anything, either). On the other hand part of me is like why?? Why do we have so much?? Do I really need a pair of boots in brown and black (the answer is still yes! ha!) Do I really need 6 pairs of jeans?? Do I really need all of those jackets (I've been okay with just the one) Do my children really need all of those toys?  Anyway, life has been good a little bit simpler these last few weeks. The kids are fine with only their books and toys they got for Christmas. I'm fine without a computer during the day (sort of). Jacob is fine without my amazing cooking (its the spices thing.. I can only make things that don't require spices other than salt pepper and cinnamon, so we have been having a lot of fajitas and breakfast burritos and sandwiches). We have all been fine, and it's been nice. I'm really hoping I can keep this in mind as I am unpacking, and hopefully I can get rid of even more stuff.  Sorry this post is forever long, just my thoughts tonight as I anticipate the arrival of our bed and my boots! :)

Everybody's doing it

Making new years resolutions, that is. So here are a few I'm doing (I did actually start these on the first, our truck just hasn't shown up with our stuff, so computer time is limited!)
-couple scripture study EVERY day. I really want to get 100%, however, I won't beat myself up if we are above 96% (to reach that we can miss almost 15 times, which is PLENTY)
-family scriptures EVERY day. Okay, so this one isn't even hard since my kids are obsessed with scripture time at night, but that's okay :)
-stop picking at my face! sheesh. Worst nervous habit I have and it HAS to stop. This year is the year!!  I'm embarrassed admitting this. Any ideas on what to replace it with?? Bad habits are supposed to be replaced by good things, but I'm fresh out of ideas here!
-read the D&C and pearl of great price cover to cover. And maybe Our Heritage. Jury is still out on that one.
-Run 4 miles straight without stopping.
-Blog at least 30 times. That's 2.5 times a month. I can do it.
-BLOOM. really working on blooming where I have been planted here in West Virginia.  I know with all my heart that the Lord sent us here and wants us here and this is where we are supposed to be. So I want to make sure I bloom into a full, beautiful flower. Not a flower that rarely pokes its head out, but a really huge happy flower. And I really don't care if it sounds cheesy :)

Stay tuned, I WILL be blogging about life here in West Virginia... There are some things here that are too hilarious to not blog about, ha ha.

Officially Announcing......

 Jacob got into PA school and we are moving to West Virginia right after Christmas!!! Jacob starts school in January! Wow! It was a long journey getting there, and it is going to be a rough 28 months, but it will be so worth it. I'm so excited. So I know a couple of different couples that have 1 spouse in med school, and the other is in PA school, and both spouses will agree that PA school is a lot more intense than med school. So I think I'm in for quite the treat. It's okay though, we will get through it. We are so excited to move and have a place to call our own again. We are excited to do some exploring on the other side of the country. The furthest east I have ever been is Missouri, so I'm really really excited. We are going to make a road trip out of our journey over there (the southern route, since obviously it will be at the end of December and who wants to drive in snow all across the country?? Not us!) and are excited to see the sights. Any must-sees fairly close to I-40? Let me know!! Here are some updates about each of us--
Jacob- started working in the ER. He LOVES it. A lot more than his old position as an RNA working with the elderly. His hours stink though and mean that we spend a lot of time apart. Most of the time we get together, we are with our kids- we have very little alone time. Thankfully, his shift changes next week and we will get to see more of each other. He is a Sunday school teacher for the 12-13 year olds, and a scout leader for the 11 year olds. (a lot of people here have more than 1 calling- at least in our ward). He is constantly working on something around the house, working on stuff in preparation for moving/school. He is a busy guy.
Me- One of my close friends started working and I watch her kids 2 & 3 days a week (every other week) and it keeps me busy. Right now I have two 3 year olds, and two 1 year olds. But there are 2 birthdays in October, so after October it will be a 1 year old, a 2 yr old, a 3 yr old, and a 4 yr old! It's been good. True, sometimes I want to pull my hair out.. Like on a day when all 4 of them are ALL being whiney.. 2 kids being whiney at the same time is plenty, and 4 is crazy. lol. But really, they are sweet kids and I'm lucky they all play so well together. Between that, taking care of household duties and trying to find us a place to live in West Virginia, I stay busy. I am also on the Relief Society activities committee, which has been fun, we have done some pretty big activities and have super saturday coming up! So fun. I'm also a Sunday School teacher for the 14-18 year olds. I actually really enjoy it, even though it's hard because they are teenagers and don't care what I say and are just interested in socializing :) it's fun though.
Sammi- loooves getting to play with her friends allll day long 2-3 times a week! I can't believe she is going to turn 4 next month. So crazy. She has been wanting to go do Disneyland and we want to take her, so we had a talk with her about how disneyland costs a lot of money and if she wanted to go, she would have to make some sacrifices. She wouldn't get a birthday party, and would only get one present from Mommy and Daddy for birthday and Christmas. She chose Disneyland and I'm very proud of her, she definitely understands her decision. Jacob's mom was showing me a present she had gotten for Sammi, and when Sammi found out she had gotten her a present, she started panicking saying "No, I don't want presents, I want to go do Disneyland instead" And when I asked her what she wanted for her cake, she started panicking about how she didn't want a party, but wants to go to Disneyland. I had to explain to her we would still have cake and open presents with family, but it wouldn't be a party with friends and games and prizes. Maybe I'm mean to make her choose and not let her have a party, but I really feel like she is learning about sacrificing something she wants, for something she wants more.
Jase- Jase is just Jase. He is still such a funny kid, and content to do his own thing. He is still soooo sweet and cuddly. He loves cuddling and playing and especially exploring. He likes trying to figure out how things come apart then get put back together again. He still loves going Godzilla on anything Sammi does. He loves destroying anything and everything. He is still a little garbage picker, but hasn't thrown money away in awhile (at least that we know of, ha) He will pull a wrapper out of the trash and dig out the crumbs from it. If he is still doing it when we move, we will put our trash somewhere out of reach!! He LOVES his dog. Keela is his favorite. And she is soo tolerant of all the obnoxious things he does to her. He lays on her, pokes her in the eye, sits on her, hugs her, kisses her (okay, she loves getting kissed by him :)) and she just deals with it. He adores her.
 For those wondering what is going on with my mother in law and her cancer, she finished chemo in late July, and we threw her a surprise party! It was so much fun! She is cancer free for the time being and mostly recovered from chemo. She is still suffering from neuropathy, but otherwise doing well.
So there it is, our crazy life!  I love it!  And it's just so fun, I'm so excited for our plans ahead.   Sometimes I still can't believe that we are actually moving clear across the country.  I just have to add in a thanks to my Heavenly Father, because He really did guide us and direct us so much in this process.  Lots of lessons learned, and growth, but never in my life has it been as evident that Heavenly Father is watching over me and guiding me as it has been the last year.  He had to humble me to get me to see it, but oh do I see it!  I'm so grateful for His guidance and His plan for our little family. 

Update-ish

Things have been pretty normal (cough-boring!) lately.  I love a little fun and adventure, and we have been short on the adventure lately (never the fun though!)  We have been working our guts out on PA school applications (any prayers sent our way would help! :)) and I'm excited for the process to be over with.  I just want Jacob to get in this cycle soo badly!  Ahhhhhh.  Anyway, here's a few pictures I've snapped lately.

finger paint!

Jase is such a garbage picker.  He goes through and finds old nasty food and eats it.  Gross, I know.  Makes my stomach churn to think about it.  He also throws away money, toys, and dog food.  Oh sigh. 

We had chocolate pudding cake one night, and without seeing anyone do this, or anyone telling him to do it, he just picked up his plate and started licking it!! I should post the recipe on here, it is really good. Look for an edit later :) On a sadder note, Sammi spent 3 days last week in the hospital. So sad. We took her to the ER a little before 6 a.m. on Wednesday because her breathing just got really bad- she's asthmatic and was wheezing really badly all night. Anyway, we finally took her in, they gave her a bunch of medicine and breathing treatments and steroids (and don't tell me to try DoTerra Breathe-- we have and it doesn't help!!!!!!!!!). It was so sad. They didn't like her oxygen levels still, so they admitted her to the hospital where she stayed until Friday afternoon. It just took a long time for her lungs to start absorbing oxygen the way they should, and spending a long time on low oxygen levels can cause serious problems, including brain damage, so we kept her there where she could be on oxygen. On one hand it was a bit of a blessing because now we have a really helpful doctor who has done so much for her, and we are so grateful! Last weekend continued pretty much the same. We got home from the hospital, I got out of the car, my phone fell and the screen shattered, one of her prescriptions wouldn't go through, I forgot to take a salad to a funeral and to call one of my best friends on her birthday. Yeah, I felt like a real winner! :) Oh well, gotta have the bad weeks to appreciate the good weeks, right?! And this week has been pretty great!