Why (I think) I want a bunch of kids, Part 2: the real version

Hopefully everyone can think of the family: They are loud, they have a LOT of fun, there are so many kids, aunts, uncles, grandbabies, cousins, nieces, nephews, moms, dads, sisters, borthers that you can't keep everyone straight. If you are family on my mom's side- think Martindales, my dad's side- think Jespersens. That's what I want. A Big, Loud, Fun, Crazy family. No, I don't want to be pregnant 6 times (I've decided I have to have at LEAST 5 to get the big loud family, but probably 6+), no I don't want 6 newborns, and no I certainly don't want 6 teenagers! BUT I do want a huge loud crazy family. I know you can have a small family that is loud, fun, and crazy, but they are missing a key ingredient (for me): BIG. Plus, I feel like I have so much love to give! Do you ever feel like you are bursting with love? I love pretty much everyone (there isn't really anybody that I don't like.. I like everyone. So if you think I don't like you, you are wrong- I do.) I was so excited to have Jase because I remember when I had Samantha, it made my love for everyone else GROW, and I knew that when I had Jase it would grow some more. I have never been concerned about not loving someone enough or as much as someone else, rather sometimes I worry I don't have enough people to love in my life! I WANT to 'have joy and rejoicing in my posterity', because isn't that one of the greatest blessings we can have? And for you pessimists out there, YES I realize I'm not guaranteed my large family will be loud, fun, and crazy, or that any of my children will even reproduce. But it's something I want, so I think I'm going to at least do my part in making it happen! (that being said, I AM allowed to change my mind! :))

Why (I think) I want a bunch of kids..Part 1, that really has nothing to do with it. haha!

After having Samantha I was sure I was content with having just 1 kid. Pregnancy was a nightmare, newborns are nightmares (they ARE so sweet, but really I wish I could just skip the first 6 months), breastfeeding was a nightmare, after-effects of being pregnancy and giving birth were nightmares. Then Sammi turned 1. And I had a special experience where I knew I needed to have another baby. Somehow I forgot how miserable it all was and readily signed myself up for more. Pregnancy wasn't even 1/10 as bad. It seemed more normal. I was only sick 24/7 the first trimester, someone introduced me to zofran and bananas as anti-nausea, I could stand up for longer than 30 seconds without passing out. It really wasn't so bad! Then came the newborn stage. Hard, yes, but somehow easier. I was definitely more tired, and about 4 times as busy instead of twice as. But I enjoyed it a lot more. It was nice to have Sammi and my bestie around during those harder months. I have known since I was pregnant with Jase that I would be having more babies. I just knew. No this isn't an announcement. No there won't be one coming in 9 weeks. Part of me wishes there would be an announcement in 9 weeks. Or even 13. But there won't be. We are not in a position where we can have another one or where I can even be pregnant. Not for awhile. But that doesn't really matter that much, because I know I will be having more babies when the time is right. This post ended up not being at all what I intended to write about, but oh well!

BAM!

Here I am!! So, I have a friend that wrote this blog post that I think is so amazing, really guys go check it out! It isn't even long, so go! now! I just love the perspective. I am really good already about doing #s 3, 4 & 5, working on and getting much better at doing #2 when I'm "soft" from being prego, and a far cry from #1. BUT that is my goal for my next pregnancy (don't worry folks, Jase JUST turned 1, it won't be for awhile longer) "1. I will drink up every moment of change my body goes through while having children, whether I'm growing or shrinking. Every. Moment."  I really want to be able to do that. I feel like I have come so far over the last 9 months about body image. I have learned to truly love my body, I have no desire to be as skinny as I was when I was at my skinniest (between having Sam and Jase), I have learned to truly LOVE my curves. And when I got sick and lost weight, I on purpose gained it back, and not as muscle but as curves (aka fat).. On PURPOSE. So maybe it was only 3 or 4 pounds, but I feel like I have come a long way to know what is healthy for me, and despite the nagging that sometimes goes on in my head to be skinnier or to not gain the weight back, I have chosen to love me for me, and have embraced being at a place where I feel really good, and to be at a place where I am not pushing myself to reach an 'ideal' that isn't quite ideal for me. It feels good! Anyway, I just loved her post about how our bodies are beautiful and the changes they go through are beautiful, and I am looking forward to my next pregnancy and (hopefully) learning to embrace and love the changes that my body will go through. Anyway, I know I have a LOT of catching up to do, things have been busy BUSY! Hopefully I'll have time to do a real update later this week, so stay tuned... But don't hold your breath! :)

I'm thinking a lot right now about New Year's Resolutions...Thinking about the difference between a resolution and a goal. Another blogger pointed out a resolution she was making and emphasized it wasn't a goal, which I had never really thought about before.   It seems to me that a resolution is a changed state of mind. Resolving to do something. Dictionary.com says: the mental state or quality of being resolved or resolute; firmness of purpose.  I looked up the definition for goal, and with a goal it seems to have an end point.  For example:  I will run a marathon on May 1, 2012  (which is AWESOME, if that is one of your New Year's things- go you!  I am in no way putting you down and I'd love to join you!) would be a goal, whereas if you stated that you resolve to exercise 3 times a week, it means that it would be a habit you would establish and hopefully keep until you die.  I think in the past I have done a lot of in between type stuff, like "read my scriptures every day" which is kind of like a resolution, except that my intent was to make it until Dec. 31 of the next year.  So this year I want to really set a resolution or 2 or 3 (we'll see how ambitious I am feeling later), and I think I will also set smaller goals that will help me to achieve my new resolve(s).  
Just as a side note: I am in no way criticizing the setting of goals for New Years, I love that it is a new year and we can all hopefully make ourselves better this coming year.  I am also in no way saying you need to change and start setting resolutions!  I just was thrown into thought when I read a friend's blog and she stated she was making a resolution NOT a goal- because it was something important to her that she wanted to change.  Anyway have fun tonight everyone!  Party hard (mormon style, lol)!!

Jase!

My sweet little boy is 11 months and 10 days. This is exactly (to the day!) how old Sammi was when she started walking all over the place (she was weird. Walking wasn't a process for her. One day she couldn't take more than 1 step by herself, and the next she was walking all over the apartment without falling). Jase has yet to take a step by himself, but that's ok! He is my cautious little boy. He started crawling about a week before he turned 10 months, and said his first word "Boo!" (he loves to play peek-a-boo) a week or so before that. He is kind of a funny kid. He has 4 or 5 words right now and 3 are communications. His first was 'Boo', then doggie (I don't even know how to type the way he says it..), then "Hi!" he also says 'da?' or 'uz-da?' (means what's that). And I'm fairly certain but not 100% certain that he says "ba" (ball). It's just funny because most babies learn mostly nouns, but so far he is all about communicating. He says "hi!" to everyone! At church he loves to stand on the bench and say "hi!" to everyone he sees. He says it when we first see him, when we open a door, when we say it to him.. He loves to say 'hi!' and the way he says it is so cute. It sounds like a recording because he says it the same way every time, and is quite enthusiastic about it. So cute :) He loves to be held and point at things until we take him over to it. When we get to what he is pointing at he says 'uz-da?' and we tell him what it is, he touches it and points some more, then points at something new to go look at.
It's so interesting to me how different him and Sammi are. At his age, she was all about cruisin around, pulling the dvds off the shelf, go-go-go and do-do-do. He just wants to examine and explore everything. He is partial to his mommy, but Sammi is still his favorite. She can make him laugh like no one else can. I LOVE listening to them play, it is music to my ears.

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I have quite a bit of catching up to do, I don't really know where to start because I only have time for one post right now... I guess I'll start with Christmas. Thank you everyone for your great ideas! We actually ended up being able to do presents on Saturday, and had Sunday be more Christ-centered. It went REALLY well. Saturday was sooo much fun! Then Saturday night we did Christ-centered Christmas Eve things and on Sunday we did extra things to keep the right focus. One of the things we did came from and idea that my sister in law Briana had of having everyone share a story about giving or a story about CHRISTmas after we ate Christmas breakfast, and it was SO amazing. Everyone had something awesome to share, and we all felt the Spirit quite strongly. I'm glad we were able to have a secular Christmas and a spiritual Christmas. It was a great experience and I think I want to take my cousin's and some others advice for next year and the years to follow where Christmas isn't on a Sunday and try to make Christmas Eve more Christ-centered. Also, I think we are going to make the breakfast thing a yearly tradition.

We had a great time, and so much fun! We were so blessed this year!! Thank you everyone!

How do you do it?

Keep Christ in Christmas, that is. This year in particular. SO Christmas is on the Sabbath this year, which I think is an amazing and beautiful thing. This year I am struggling to know what to do to keep Christmas about Christ. I am all for Santa (and won't be getting rid of him, so don't suggest it) and the magic that comes with him. I guess here is what I feel about Christmas on Sunday. One of 2 things happens-- you open all your presents and say 'ok kids, have fun playing with them tomorrow!' Or you allow them to play with them, and they yell, play, fight (come on, you know it will happen, don't kid yourself) and do other things that aren't in accordance to the Sabbath. (at least how I was raised). You make an exception since it's Christmas. I feel like making an exception and not maintaining the Sabbath spirit since it's Christmas is what Satan wants us to do. I understand quality time with family is important, and a great activity on the Sabbath, but I feel I would be kidding myself if I think I can maintain the proper Sabbath Spirit when I'm making an exception on Sabbath day standards. I feel like it would be such a shame to waste the opportunity to have that added Spirit with having Christmas on Sunday.I feel like Christmas Sunday (whether it's on the 19, 22, or 25 or whenever) is a special day to truly reflect on what Christmas means on the ultimate gift that our Heavenly Father gave us when He sent His son to this earth so that we can have eternal life. I feel that this year it can even more easily be overrun with Santa and presents and the worldly side of Christmas than most years.
I GET that yeah, we should keep Christ in Christmas no matter what day of the week it is on. I get it. It's more important to me this year, because I feel like now my Christmas Sunday is going to be overrun with worldly things. I also get that there is a middle ground, which we are going to try to do.
So what are YOU doing to keep Christ in Christmas this year? As a child I remember our parents telling us that they wrote Santa a special letter to see if he could come on Saturday so that we could focus on Christ on Sunday. Unfortunately, that isn't an option this year. I struggle with what to do. Obviously we are doing presents Sunday since that is our only option, but I think we are just going to do our best to treat it like Sunday. Only let Samantha play with toys she would be allowed to play with on Sunday, and I think for awhile before we go to church (at 1) we will get into Church mode and prepare for it properly. But my question is still out there: What are you doing this year to keep Christ in Christmas?? And do you have any ideas on what we can do to better improve the spirit of Christ this week, and change our focus? How do you teach that to a 3 year old? And also, what are Your thoughts on doing presents and Santa on Saturday?

Shooting on Thanksgiving

Jeremy, Ethan, Jimmy and I decided to take the morning and go shooting. It was a blast! At the very end of the day we were shooting golf balls off of tees. Some of the shots were about 75 yards away. The very last thing we decided to do was to see if we could set off a shotgun shell with a .22 round. It didn't ever go off, but we did hit them. Its not easy to hit something the size of a quarter from 150-200 feet away!

We only had one mishap, Jimmy didn't hold one of the rifles tight enough into his shoulder and the scope ended up cutting open his eyebrow :p

Politically correct

I officially dislike blogging. I was going to write a post about a great new pair of jeans that I just got, but didn't want to offend anyone with some comments that might not be politically correct for me to say. Do you know how stupid that is? Nothing I was planning on saying is the slightest bit offensive. What to do?? Speak my mind anyway? Make the blog private? Give up blogging? Use blogging strictly as an activity/ update log? What are your thoughts? Does anyone else ever run into this problem? Anyone else feel like they can't speak their mind because they might say something that might offend someone?

PS- if you've got a curvy rear end and a smaller waist go try the Levi's curve ID jeans!! I was hesitant to try them because when I think Levi's I think cowboy, but I got a really cute pair of skinnies that actually fit my rear AND my waist, and that actually cover my rear end when I bend over AND they are low rise!

Update

Want to know how thrilled I am about catching up on the blog? Not at all!! All of the posts are going to be very not-wordy and I'm not going to bother editing any pictures at all. We have had a lot of fun, and are not minding our new town too much. The people here are great! Really really great! (the place itself is less than desirable :)) Hopefully getting all caught up will help me to feel excited about blogging again since hopefully it won't be a chore next time like it is now. Anyway, it's been a fun and busy last couple of months, so enjoy!!

Halloween

This Halloween was really fun! I love dressing up! Samantha was pretty sick, which is why pictures of her are limited (The next day was a 'let's go to the ER cause Samantha stopped breathing' kind of day). After the ward trunk or treat we had some friends over for games and yummy food.

Babysitting

I mentioned before that we were babysitting my cousins right before moving. It was SO much fun. I don't know what I was expecting, but I should have been expecting loads of fun, because my cousin is so funny, so of course her kids are too. I miss them! Cara (her oldest) and I had a ton of fun. Anyway, the last night we were there... welllll it was kinda late and we were kinda looney. Hahah! I have about 100 pictures from that night, I'm not putting them all up, but be prepared for picture overload! Also, a lot of them are scenario pictures. For example we'd say "what if we found out Sharon was an alien?" or "what if..(insert random thing here)" anyway I can't remember what all of them are, but that's where most of the goofy pics come from!

"flick"

I think this one was "get out of the picture"

rock band?

Sam

I think this one was "be the only one in the picture"





Our family picture :)

Pirate's Dice! Maddie was waaaay too good at this game. Cara and I had to team up to take her down! haha!





Cara and I :)

Samantha's birthday

Samantha had a great birthday this year! I can't believe I have a 3 year old. Crazy.
These are in reverse order, but I just don't feel like fixing it today! So here ya go! The Saturday after her birthday we had a little party for her, and I can't possibly post pics of all her presents so here are a few highlights:
We got her a bike!!
I would have to say the best part of the above picture is Ethan, baahahah

Silly string!! Sam thought it was amazing.


While we were babysitting, my mom came so she could see us one last time before we live much farrther away, and she gave Sam her present there, and it was a hit. :)
The day of her birthday we took her to the park to play and have a picnic. So fun! And look how huge my big guy is now! He is about to cut his 8th tooth! Glad I'm not breastfeeding!