Sunday, January 29, 2012

Why (I think) I want a bunch of kids, Part 2: the real version

Hopefully everyone can think of the family: They are loud, they have a LOT of fun, there are so many kids, aunts, uncles, grandbabies, cousins, nieces, nephews, moms, dads, sisters, borthers that you can't keep everyone straight. If you are family on my mom's side- think Martindales, my dad's side- think Jespersens. That's what I want. A Big, Loud, Fun, Crazy family. No, I don't want to be pregnant 6 times (I've decided I have to have at LEAST 5 to get the big loud family, but probably 6+), no I don't want 6 newborns, and no I certainly don't want 6 teenagers! BUT I do want a huge loud crazy family. I know you can have a small family that is loud, fun, and crazy, but they are missing a key ingredient (for me): BIG. Plus, I feel like I have so much love to give! Do you ever feel like you are bursting with love? I love pretty much everyone (there isn't really anybody that I don't like.. I like everyone. So if you think I don't like you, you are wrong- I do.) I was so excited to have Jase because I remember when I had Samantha, it made my love for everyone else GROW, and I knew that when I had Jase it would grow some more. I have never been concerned about not loving someone enough or as much as someone else, rather sometimes I worry I don't have enough people to love in my life! I WANT to 'have joy and rejoicing in my posterity', because isn't that one of the greatest blessings we can have? And for you pessimists out there, YES I realize I'm not guaranteed my large family will be loud, fun, and crazy, or that any of my children will even reproduce. But it's something I want, so I think I'm going to at least do my part in making it happen! (that being said, I AM allowed to change my mind! :)) post signature

Why (I think) I want a bunch of kids..Part 1, that really has nothing to do with it. haha!

After having Samantha I was sure I was content with having just 1 kid. Pregnancy was a nightmare, newborns are nightmares (they ARE so sweet, but really I wish I could just skip the first 6 months), breastfeeding was a nightmare, after-effects of being pregnancy and giving birth were nightmares. Then Sammi turned 1. And I had a special experience where I knew I needed to have another baby. Somehow I forgot how miserable it all was and readily signed myself up for more. Pregnancy wasn't even 1/10 as bad. It seemed more normal. I was only sick 24/7 the first trimester, someone introduced me to zofran and bananas as anti-nausea, I could stand up for longer than 30 seconds without passing out. It really wasn't so bad! Then came the newborn stage. Hard, yes, but somehow easier. I was definitely more tired, and about 4 times as busy instead of twice as. But I enjoyed it a lot more. It was nice to have Sammi and my bestie around during those harder months. I have known since I was pregnant with Jase that I would be having more babies. I just knew. No this isn't an announcement. No there won't be one coming in 9 weeks. Part of me wishes there would be an announcement in 9 weeks. Or even 13. But there won't be. We are not in a position where we can have another one or where I can even be pregnant. Not for awhile. But that doesn't really matter that much, because I know I will be having more babies when the time is right. This post ended up not being at all what I intended to write about, but oh well! post signature

Sunday, January 22, 2012

BAM!

Here I am!! So, I have a friend that wrote this blog post that I think is so amazing, really guys go check it out! It isn't even long, so go! now! I just love the perspective. I am really good already about doing #s 3, 4 & 5, working on and getting much better at doing #2 when I'm "soft" from being prego, and a far cry from #1. BUT that is my goal for my next pregnancy (don't worry folks, Jase JUST turned 1, it won't be for awhile longer) "1. I will drink up every moment of change my body goes through while having children, whether I'm growing or shrinking. Every. Moment."  I really want to be able to do that. I feel like I have come so far over the last 9 months about body image. I have learned to truly love my body, I have no desire to be as skinny as I was when I was at my skinniest (between having Sam and Jase), I have learned to truly LOVE my curves. And when I got sick and lost weight, I on purpose gained it back, and not as muscle but as curves (aka fat).. On PURPOSE. So maybe it was only 3 or 4 pounds, but I feel like I have come a long way to know what is healthy for me, and despite the nagging that sometimes goes on in my head to be skinnier or to not gain the weight back, I have chosen to love me for me, and have embraced being at a place where I feel really good, and to be at a place where I am not pushing myself to reach an 'ideal' that isn't quite ideal for me. It feels good! Anyway, I just loved her post about how our bodies are beautiful and the changes they go through are beautiful, and I am looking forward to my next pregnancy and (hopefully) learning to embrace and love the changes that my body will go through. Anyway, I know I have a LOT of catching up to do, things have been busy BUSY! Hopefully I'll have time to do a real update later this week, so stay tuned... But don't hold your breath! :) post signature

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